Do you have someone in
your life that doesn’t trust your judgment? One who feels they need to control every
aspect of your life. If you do, chances are that that someone is a control
freak.
My someone, like so many control freaks, has a high opinion
of himself. He is obsessive.He easily becomes agitated and will engage in long,
loud, and angry one-way arguments (whether there is a reason to be angry or
not) over any issue. He is not interested in what I have to say. He talks down
to me. He attempts to intimidate by rapidly and loudly talking over anything I
attempt to say. If I should be able to make a counterargument that in anyway
threatens his argument, he will shut down and not speak to me for days. It’s a
behavior demonstrate not just toward me but others as well.
Living with a control freak is not easy or pleasant. I cope by
calculating every action I take. I think carefully about any comment before
making it, when to bring up an issue, what I want to say, and how to say it. I refrain
from asking questions. If I want to do something, I wait until he is not
around. If I don't he will tell me how to do it in excruciating detail. Apparently,
he believes that I am not capable of doing much of anything. He can be irritating,
demeaning, and emotionally abusive. He may attack my character, make accusations,
be sarcastic, twist what I say, and try intimidation to force me to act or
think his way.
The chances are that you are here because of a problem with
someone who is a control freak and are searching for a solution. I have found
that the problem doesn’t have a solution, unless, as with any unwanted
behavior, the behavior is recognized and there is a desire to change. My
control freak does recognize that he is a controlling person and hard to live
with, but has said, “I cannot change, it’s just who I am.”
What I have learned is to stay calm, always to be in an
adult state of mind, cope with his ranting, and as soon as possible, tactfully
remove myself from the situation.
(A version of
this article was first published on the Yahoo Contributors Network on January
14, 2013)
Copyright © 2014
Horatio Green
